The 7 Stages of My Spiritual Awakening: A Journey to Authenticity and Healing

The 7 Stages of My Spiritual Awakening: A Journey to Authenticity and Healing

Have you ever felt there has to be something more to the life we are living? An aching for something more or something different? Some sort of intuitive feeling that things are not the way they are supposed to be? I have also felt this way.

Stage One: Feeling the Call

This is when you first sense there’s something more to life, even if you can’t articulate it yet. It might feel like a longing or an ache for purpose. As a little girl, I recall looking to the sun and feeling there was more to this life, that great things were in store. I felt the energy of the world around me. The intensity grew, and by the time I was 30, the pain of trying to fit into this world became overwhelming.

Stage Two: Resistance

You feel called to move in a certain direction, but so many obstacles prevent you from taking action. I fully realized that I was in the wrong career but didn’t know what the right one was. I desperately wanted out of the career field I was in, but what was I going to move into? All I intuitively knew was that my path had colour. Financially, it didn’t make sense to quit my career with nothing else lined up.

I had a baby when I was 32, which marked the end of my career at the time. After being on maternity leave I knew I could never go back to how I was living before—office jobs, 9-5 routines, commutes, and hardly seeing my children. I had three daughters at the time. There had to be more to life than this! I resigned from my position but also from the career trajectory I was on.

Stage Three: Seeking

No longer working, I needed to find myself so I could find my path. I signed up for a variety of courses and workshops, and when a friend invited me to try something new, I said yes. Over time, I started to find bits and pieces of myself. Each time, I thought, this is it—the magical thing that made the world make sense, my purpose. From writing to quilting to making toys and exploring play, I believed I had figured things out. Working with expressive mediums was soothing, regulating my emotions and bringing comfort. It was amazing to bring something to life in this 3D world, not just in my imagination. I knew there was something here for me. I hoped all this creativity would be the answer I was looking for.

During this time, I explored different therapies, yoga, and meditation. I learned a lot about myself in the process.

Stage Four: The Point of No Return

After learning so much about myself, my confidence grew. I thought things were good. My emotions seemed more balanced. I ended my marriage, which was a huge release for me—not that I ever encourage divorce, but that was the path I chose at the time. Then COVID happened.

Now the world was bonkers. So much didn’t make sense anymore. I had more questions about life, questioning culture and the purpose of our existence. Too much was revealed, and now I knew there was no going back to how things were.

It’s important to note that through all my therapies and treatments, not one mental health professional told me I was going through a spiritual awakening, known as Religious and Spiritual Issues in the DSM—the diagnostic manual for psychologists. This is the manual that defines and categorizes mental health issues like anxiety, depression, trauma, and eating disorders. Yet, religious and spiritual issues are largely ignored in our society, even by doctors and mental health professionals. If I had known about this diagnosis earlier, it would have been extremely helpful.

Stage Five: Confrontation Between the Hero and Guardian

I faced a major battle—I needed to move forward. I had been primarily a stay-at-home mom, though I had started a nonprofit and a business before my divorce. Both were creative ventures. I made toys out of natural materials, sang songs, and wrote. But both were closed before the pandemic, and I needed to establish an income. I was still faced with the questions: Who am I? What purpose do I serve in this world?

I stumbled upon the idea of going back to school for art psychotherapy training. I was passionate about creating and aware of how much it calmed my nervous system. I also thought that immersing myself in therapy training might heal me—that maybe I’d uncover some hidden mystery behind the therapist’s role that laypeople were unaware of. Something that would finally give me answers.

I had mixed feelings about the course. I had a deep feeling that it could change my life, yet it was expensive, and to be honest, I didn’t see myself becoming a therapist. It was a big push to get me to go. My application process went smoothly, but I was kicking and screaming all the way through the door. Even though I wanted to learn, I still resisted. My guardian angel—or powers that be—took care of me, and we conquered this together.

Stage Six: A Beautiful Place to Supreme Ordeal

I entered a blissful stage of discovery—well, sort of. The pandemic was still present. More and more things I believed to be true were disappearing. Yet, the art was awakening me to a new language I was learning to interpret. This process of creating and understanding was healing. I realized that a part of me—or some being beyond this earth—was trying to communicate with me. I began to have visions, and when I brought those visions to life through creative expression, using the appropriate mediums, a transformation occurred. Bit by bit, I became more myself than I had ever been.

The creative process can be so revealing that it completely shocks you. Other times, you don’t get anything out of it and feel disappointed. But even when you think you’re not finding meaning, you’re still tapping into that higher power trying to communicate with you through line, shape, color, myth, metaphor, and meaning.

Looking back, I now see this as a paradise phase. But then school ended, and life absolutely sucked. I felt stuck, as if I hadn’t moved forward at all. I had to face my biggest fears—what Paul Rebillot, a healer for those awakening, describes as the supreme ordeal. This is where you meet me now. This is the phase I am transitioning out of.

Stage Seven: The Reward

This is the final step. This is where we find our treasure—our purpose, our meaning, ourselves. We must keep an open mind and embrace multiple perspectives.

I have simplified my journey above. It is easy to look back and see the path, but when you are in it, you are walking blind. You don’t know where you are going. That is what I hope to convey to the world, the public, and mental health professionals. If you can understand what you are going through before it happens, you can make sense of the emotions and experiences.

Throughout my journey, there have been countless emotional valleys and peaks. If I had known I was on a spiritual awakening journey, and that it wasn’t going to be easy, I could have navigated the highs and lows better. It wasn’t until I completed my thesis for school that I truly understood it. When I realized my unconscious wanted me to process things, I could remind myself that each low was just a phase. Without that understanding, it felt like I was going bonkers.

During school, the pandemic, and the most challenging parts of my awakening, I longed for someone to talk to. It was a faux pas to question anything happening in the world, but it was all connected to my awakening. Restricting my speech impeded my healing. It is my wish that Soulful Expressions can be a place where we connect and support one another on this creative awakening journey.

Does this resonate with your journey? At Soulful Expressions, I hope to provide a space where you can explore your creative awakening and connect with others on a similar path. I’d love to hear your story—leave a comment or reach out!